Crap that was a few days ago!
Lexi was finally moved to the Neuro Trauma Unit (NTU) #2022. This is the unit she was originally supposed to be on anyways, so that's cool.
Day 3 (Wednesday?!) proved to be an intense night. Lexi was HYSTERICAL and so upset. She was in so much pain and could not be consoled. It took hours for her to get calmed down and was finally able to once all the meds kicked in. Wow. It's true. I've never seen someone so angry before!!! Honestly that's all I can remember from that evening.
My sister in law Erika came to see Lexi. Erika was in town for work and is such a sweetheart! I hope I'm not mixing up my days.
Terrell let me stay at the hotel the last night we had it. What a rock star.
That evening was awful and I definitely shed my fair share of tears. It's interesting that I don't cry a whole lot. Just being Mom and not wrapped up in the emotions. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm being "cold" but when I talked to my mom, I realize I'm not being a bad person and I'm not cold towards it, I'm just doing it and that's how my body is dealing with it. It makes me feel bad...sometimes I feel like I should just be bawling and angry about all this but really, I'm not and I haven't sobbed since my meltdown BEFORE surgery. Is it tough? OH yes. Is it awful? Sometimes! But it's those moments where I see my little girl like she is and I think, this is good. We got this.
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